The Coin Flip - Fort Collins Rescue Mission

A single coin flip brought Dan to Harvest Farm, where he found faith, community and a life worth living.

Heads I go to a hospital, tails I end my life.

Dan was at his lowest point—living in his car, driving across the country trying to run away from his depression, anxiety and PTSD. But that’s the thing about running away from yourself—no matter where you go, there you are.

He was struggling with addiction, had isolated himself from his family and had already unsuccessfully attempted to end his life two times before. He had traveled his whole journey across the country with a half dollar coin in his pocket, and as he pulled it out to flip for the decision to alter the course of his life, it landed on heads.

“It’s like God was acting through a coin that day,” Dan said. “I still have that coin. I wear it as a necklace now, and it has my birth year on it.”

That moment led Dan to seek help for himself for the first time, a journey that led him straight to Harvest Farm. “This Farm is blessed ground, and because of that, there’s a peace here. I actually feel comfortable being here, and I started feeling comfortable just being myself here,” he said.

Dan’s work readiness portion of the program was with the agriculture team, tending to the greenhouse and plants around the Farm. Right away his supervisor and Farm Operations Specialist, Darrol Telck, noticed a unique work ethic and drive in Dan.

“Dan came in very shy and not knowing how to act in a setting like this, but very grateful to be doing something to better his life. He was very active in helping get the greenhouse back up and running and along the way found himself looking into pursuing a future in becoming an electrician,” Darrol said. “From not knowing where he fits in, to attempting suicide and overcoming that, the Farm has opened up excitement for the future for Dan.”

Now, as Dan looks at the greenhouse—all the things he helped cultivate and build—he feels proud of himself and grateful to Darrol for helping him along the way. “I couldn’t have done it without him. As we were working on the greenhouse, I was going to therapy. Everything I’ve done is one small thing at a time, and now we have this amazing thing in front of us,” he shared. “I definitely feel proud of how far I’ve come, and the work I’ve done to get to where I am.”

The personal growth Dan experienced working in agriculture coupled with the spiritual growth he experienced working with his chaplain completely changed his life. “I started to talk with Chaplain Dave about my beliefs and the idea of, I could have been dead from a coin flip, but it came up heads. Either that’s a coincidence, or that’s someone leading me on my path.”

After isolating himself for so long from people, he learned the power and importance of community.

“That’s something I didn’t realize I needed—having support, not just here on the Farm, but outside the Farm. The first time I ever hugged a stranger in my life was my first time going to Faith Church here,” he said. “And I was very lucky with the dorm I was in, there were four of us and we made each other laugh and had some deeper conversations. Community was definitely a thing I developed here.”

Now Dan looks forward to getting back into the workforce, giving back to others at the Farm and implementing the tools and skills he has learned in real life scenarios.

“Here on the Farm, I’m in a bubble, but once I’m out there working, no one is around to watch what I do,” he said. “It’s going to be exciting to be able to put all those tools and everything I’ve learned into practice and to continue to stay sober. It’s like an excitement to say no.”

Dan’s life could have been drastically different had that coin landed on tails that day. And yet, God had a plan and a purpose for his life beyond anything he could have ever imagined.

“This Farm is blessed ground, and because of that, there’s a peace here.”
Dan

“When guys ask me how I am doing, I always tell them, ‘Living the dream,’ because it can be a whole lot worse than this,” he said. “Something I learned is that there’s going to be so much that’s out of your control, that at a certain point you have got to stop controlling it and just live. It’s not always going to be great, but if you keep pushing forwards, keep living your life, that’s all that matters.”